Though I'm billed in some places as a wiseguy who has something to say about most everything I must confess that I studiously avoid frankspeaking about politics—that dear perpetual place charged to overflowing with sincere expectations inevitably met by barefaced, "uncappable" mendacity. Nevertheless, the mis-called, so-called "spill" that is spewing into the Gulf has generated some questions that might have some tenuous connection to politics. 1. When politicians and their parrots proclaim the need for America to rid itself of dependence upon foreign oil do they simply refer to Mid-East oil? oil drawn from under the stamping grounds of terrorists? 2. How foreign is the oil pouring up good ol' BP's well from below the seabed of the Gulf of Mexico? (A well that seems bound and determined to send up enough black gold to supply the needs of a western democracy for ever and a day. 3. Who in hell (and I choose my vulgarity advisedly) decided who all that oil under the Gulf belongs to? 4. How did our Brit. Pets. or is it Brit. Pest. ever get in and down to where they are, and does the oil once they barrel it then become foreign oil?

Ah, questions, questions.

To heighten the black absurdity of the matter there are—according to Senator Kerry as reported in the Monitor—48,999 other oil rigs out there in the great big Gulf of Mexico. Spelling it out: forty eight thousand nine hundred and ninety nine other rigs.

" What th—!!! Does that mean that any and all oil anywheres off the coast of America is foreign oil that we gotta get out from under?!!!" gasps the Ubermensch.

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